From MIAM to Consent Order: A London Family’s Mediation Journey

When a couple in South London decided to separate after 12 years of marriage, they faced what most separating couples face: a jointly owned home, savings, pensions, and two children to consider, with no clear idea of how to divide everything fairly. They had heard that court could take years and cost a fortune. A friend recommended mediation. Eight months later, they had a court-sealed consent order, an agreed parenting arrangement, and had spent a fraction of what they expected.

This case study follows their journey from first enquiry to final order, stage by stage, with real costs, a realistic timeline, and an honest comparison with what the court route might have looked like. If you are considering family mediation in London and want to understand what the process actually involves, this guide is for you.

Meet the Family: Background to the Case

To protect privacy, we have changed names and some details. Daniel and Sarah had been married for 12 years and had two children aged 8 and 10. They owned a three-bedroom home in Sutton worth approximately £620,000, with a mortgage of £210,000 remaining. Daniel worked in finance in the City; Sarah had returned to part-time work after taking time out to care for the children. They had separate and joint savings, two pension pots of different sizes, and one car.

They were not on bad terms but had very different ideas about what a fair split looked like. Sarah felt the pension imbalance needed addressing. Daniel was concerned about the family home and how quickly it might need to be sold. Both wanted to avoid a court battle for the sake of the children.

Stage 1: The MIAM (Weeks 1 to 2)

The first step in any mediation process in England and Wales is a MIAM, or Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. This is a one-to-one meeting with a mediator, held separately for each person. It is not a joint session. The mediator explains how mediation works, assesses whether it is suitable for your situation, and answers any questions you have.

Daniel and Sarah each attended a MIAM at our South London mediation office in Sutton, close to their home. MIAMs are also available at our Central London location at Waterloo and North London at St Pancras, and online if preferred.

What Happened at the MIAM

Each MIAM lasted around 45 to 60 minutes. The mediator discussed the nature of their finances, whether there were any safeguarding concerns (there were not), whether mediation was likely to be productive given the circumstances, and what the process would look like. Both Daniel and Sarah were assessed as suitable for mediation.

Importantly, the mediator also confirmed that Daniel and Sarah were not eligible for the government’s £500 Family Mediation Voucher Scheme as their dispute did not involve child arrangements as the primary issue. However, as their finances included property and pensions, the mediator explained they would likely need three to five joint sessions.

Stage 2: Financial Disclosure (Weeks 3 to 5)

Before joint mediation sessions can begin on financial matters, both parties need to share full financial disclosure. This means gathering information about all assets, income, debts, pensions, and outgoings. The mediator provided both Daniel and Sarah with a financial disclosure form to complete before the first joint session.

For many London couples, pensions are the most complex part. Daniel had a defined contribution pension with a value of around £180,000. Sarah’s workplace pension was valued at around £35,000, reflecting the years she had taken out of full-time work. Getting cash equivalent transfer values (CETVs) from their pension providers took around two weeks.

Neither Daniel nor Sarah instructed a solicitor at this stage, though both were told they could seek independent legal advice at any point. They chose to get a mortgage redemption figure from their lender and an estate agent valuation of the property themselves, which kept costs down.

Stage 3: Joint Mediation Sessions (Weeks 6 to 14)

Daniel and Sarah had four joint mediation sessions, each lasting around 90 minutes. Sessions were held fortnightly at the Sutton office, with a small gap between the third and fourth sessions to allow them to take independent legal advice on some of the pension options discussed.

The sessions covered the following topics, in order:

• Session 1: Overview of assets and debts, initial positions, the family home
• Session 2: The family home in more detail, options including sale, transfer, and deferred sale; children’s housing needs
• Session 3: Pensions, savings, and the car
• Session 4: Finalising the overall package and reaching a heads of agreement

The mediator did not tell them what to do. Instead, she helped them explore options, understand the implications of different outcomes, and communicate with each other in a structured way. When discussions became heated, particularly around the pension imbalance, she helped refocus the conversation on what each person actually needed rather than what they felt they were entitled to.

What They Agreed

By the end of session four, Daniel and Sarah had agreed the following:

• The family home would be transferred into Sarah’s name, with Daniel receiving a lump sum from the equity. Sarah would take on the mortgage.
• A pension sharing order would be attached to the consent order, directing 30% of Daniel’s pension to Sarah.
• The savings and car would be split as agreed in session three.
• A clean break was agreed, meaning neither party could make future financial claims against the other.

Stage 4: Memorandum of Understanding (Week 15)

Once Daniel and Sarah had reached their agreement in mediation, the mediator produced a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). This is a written summary of everything agreed in sessions. It is not legally binding on its own, but it forms the basis for the consent order that follows. You can learn more about mediated agreements and how they can be made legally binding in our full guide.

The MOU was included in the mediation fee, so there was no additional charge for this document. It covered all the financial matters agreed, including the pension sharing arrangements, property transfer, and clean break terms.

Stage 5: Drafting and Sealing the Consent Order (Weeks 16 to 22)

A consent order is the legal document that makes a financial agreement binding and enforceable. It is drafted by a solicitor based on the MOU and then submitted to court for a judge to approve. The judge considers whether the terms are fair and, assuming they are, approves the order without either party needing to attend court. You can read more in the Mediate UK consent order guide.

Because Daniel and Sarah’s case involved a pension sharing order, the consent order was more complex than a standard clean break. This is fairly common for London couples, where one spouse has significantly more pension wealth, often accumulated in City finance or professional roles. They chose to instruct a solicitor to draft the full order.

The order was submitted to court around 10 weeks after the final mediation session, which included time for the solicitor to draft it, both parties to review it, and the court to process it. The court approved the order without any issues. Daniel and Sarah received their sealed consent order by post shortly afterwards.

Full Cost and Timeline Summary

Here is a full breakdown of Daniel and Sarah’s MIAM to consent order London journey, from first enquiry to sealed order:

For more detail on mediation fees, visit the Mediate UK costs and payments page.

How Does This Compare to Going to Court?

If Daniel and Sarah had applied to court using Form A and pursued a financial remedy through the London Family Court, the picture would have looked very different. The financial settlement process through court involves multiple hearings, mandatory disclosure (Form E), a First Directions Appointment, and often a Financial Dispute Resolution hearing before any final hearing. London cases can take 18 to 24 months or longer due to court backlogs.

These are estimates, and every case is different. High-asset London cases, or those involving business interests, international assets, or disputed property valuations, can cost significantly more through court. Solicitor fees in London tend to be higher than the national average, which can push contested proceedings well into five figures per person.

For a detailed look at the court process and how it compares, the Mediate UK family mediation guide covers both routes in depth.

What Made the Difference: Reflections from the Case

Looking back, Daniel and Sarah identified a few things that made the process work well for them. First, they both came prepared. Having their financial disclosure ready before the first session meant the mediator could focus on exploring options rather than gathering information. Second, they each took independent legal advice between session three and session four. This gave them confidence in the pension sharing arrangement and helped them arrive at the final session ready to commit.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, they recognised that the outcome had to work for both of them over the long term. Sarah would be continuing to live locally, the children would remain in their London schools, and Daniel would be seeing them regularly. An agreement they had both shaped was one they were more likely to respect.

You can read more verified client reviews on our Meet the Team page and see what other London families have said about their experience on our Reviews.co.uk profile.

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