Prepare for Your First Mediation Session in London

If you are preparing for a mediation session in London and wondering what to expect, you are in the right place. You have already completed your MIAM, which means you have had the chance to speak with a mediator on your own and explore whether mediation is suitable. Now comes the joint session, and it is natural to feel a little unsure about how it works.

This guide walks you through a practical checklist of everything worth doing before you arrive, from sorting out paperwork to thinking about what you want to say. It is designed for people who have already booked through London Mediation Service and want to make the most of their first session.

Prepare for Your First Mediation Session in London: What Happens?

Before getting into the checklist, it helps to understand what you are actually walking into. A first joint mediation session is not a court hearing. There is no judge, no one wins or loses, and nothing is decided for you. The mediator is there to help both parties communicate clearly and work towards a practical agreement.

The first session usually covers:

• Ground rules for the mediation process
• A chance for both parties to explain their situation and priorities
• An overview of the issues that need to be resolved (whether financial, children, or both)
• Planning for what needs to happen before or during the next session

Our sessions in London take place at our offices in Waterloo, St Pancras, and Sutton, as well as online if that suits you better. Sessions are typically 90 minutes to two hours.

Your Pre-Session Checklist: Prepare for Your Mediation Session in London

Use this checklist in the days before your appointment. You do not need everything in place, but working through as many of these steps as you can will put you in a much stronger position on the day.

1. Gather Your Financial Documents (If Finance Is on the Agenda)

If your mediation involves dividing assets or sorting out maintenance, it helps to have a clear picture of your finances before you attend. You do not need formal valuations or a completed Form E at this stage, but gathering basic figures avoids delays later.

Useful documents to have ready:

• Recent bank statements (last three months for all accounts)
• Mortgage statements or rental agreements
• Payslips or evidence of income (last three months)
• Pension valuations if available (a CETV can be requested from your pension provider)
• Any existing financial agreements or consent orders
• A rough idea of outstanding debts, credit cards, or loans

Your mediator will not ask you to hand any of this over in the first session. However, having it to hand means you can answer questions accurately and move the discussion forward without having to adjourn for missing information.

2. Make a Note of Children’s Arrangements (If Children Are Involved)

If your mediation involves child arrangements, jot down the current situation before you attend. This helps the mediator understand the starting point and saves time at the session itself.

Consider noting:

• Where the children currently live and the current contact arrangements
• School term dates and any activities that affect the schedule
• Any particular concerns about the children’s wellbeing
• Your preferred arrangement and why you think it works for the children
• Any key dates coming up (school start, holidays, birthdays)

If you are unsure what is realistic, the Mediate UK child arrangements guide gives a helpful overview of how courts and mediators approach these decisions, including the welfare checklist.

3. Get Some Independent Legal Advice Beforehand

Mediation is not a replacement for legal advice, and having a brief conversation with a solicitor or specialist before your first session can be genuinely useful. It can help you understand what a reasonable outcome might look like, so you come in with a realistic starting point rather than positions that are hard to shift.

You do not need a full solicitor engagement. A one-hour fixed-fee legal advice session covering your specific circumstances can make a significant difference to how confidently you approach the mediation.

4. Think About Your Priorities, Not Just Your Position

One of the most useful things you can do before your first session is to think about the difference between what you want and why you want it. In mediation, this distinction matters a great deal.

For example, you might want to stay in the family home. But your underlying priority might be stability for the children, keeping the children in their current school catchment, or avoiding upheaval during a difficult period. When you can articulate the reason behind your position, it becomes much easier to find creative solutions, because the other party may be able to meet your underlying need in a different way.

Before your appointment, try writing down:

• The three things that matter most to you
• The one thing you would find hardest to compromise on, and why
• One area where you could see yourself being flexible

You do not need to share this list with anyone. It is just for you, to help you feel clear-headed before you walk in.

5. Re-read Our MIAM London Guide

If it has been a few weeks since your MIAM in London, it is worth refreshing yourself on the mediation process before the joint session. Understanding how the stages fit together helps you feel less uncertain and more in control.

The Mediate UK guide to how to prepare for mediation is also worth reading in full. It covers the emotional side of preparation as well as the practical, and many clients tell us it helped settle their nerves before arriving.

6. Sort Out the Practical Arrangements

This sounds obvious, but sorting the logistics in advance reduces last-minute stress, which matters more than people realise when you are attending an emotionally demanding appointment.

A quick practical checklist for the day itself:

• Confirm the address and travel route in advance (our Waterloo office is a short walk from Waterloo Station; St Pancras is directly opposite the station entrance)
• Plan to arrive five to ten minutes early so you have time to settle before the session starts
• Arrange childcare if needed, so you are not distracted or watching the clock
• Block out the rest of the afternoon if you can, rather than scheduling something immediately after
• Bring a notepad, even if you do not expect to take many notes
• Bring any documents you have gathered, in a folder or envelope

If you are attending an online session, test your connection and find a quiet, private space where you will not be interrupted. Attending from a coffee shop or an open-plan office is not ideal for this kind of conversation.

7. Prepare Emotionally, Not Just Practically

Sitting in a room with your ex-partner and talking about your finances or your children is not easy. Even when things are broadly civil, it can bring up strong feelings. That is completely normal, and your mediator is experienced in managing moments like this.

A few things that can help:

• Make a conscious decision before you arrive to listen as well as speak
• Remind yourself that the session is about finding workable solutions, not about winning an argument or assigning blame
• If you feel yourself getting upset or overwhelmed during the session, it is fine to ask for a short break
• Try to get a decent night’s sleep the evening before

If you are finding the emotional side genuinely difficult, speaking to a counsellor or therapist beforehand can be a good idea. It is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you are taking the process seriously.

What You Do Not Need to Bring

Just as useful as knowing what to prepare is knowing what you do not need to worry about.

• You do not need a solicitor in the room. Mediation is a solicitor-free process by design. Your legal adviser can review any agreement afterwards before it is made legally binding.
• You do not need a fully formed proposal. It is fine to come in with questions rather than answers. The mediator helps both parties work through the issues together.
• You do not need to have everything resolved in one session. Most people need two to five sessions to reach a full agreement, particularly when both finances and children are involved.
• You do not need to agree to anything on the day. Nothing is binding in mediation until both parties sign a Memorandum of Understanding and have it reviewed by their legal advisers. You can take time to think.

For a full overview of the process, the Mediate UK family mediation guide is a comprehensive resource that covers every stage from MIAM to finalising agreements.

What Happens After the First Session?

After your first joint mediation session in London, your mediator will typically give both parties a summary of what was discussed and any actions agreed. This might include gathering specific financial documents, thinking further about a particular aspect of the arrangements, or researching a topic (such as how pension sharing works or what the school catchment areas are in a particular borough).

Subsequent sessions build on the first, with the mediator helping to narrow down the options until both parties reach a position they can accept. When an agreement is reached, it is recorded in a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). This is not legally binding in itself, but it forms the basis for a consent order or parenting plan that can be made legally binding with the help of a solicitor.

If you want to read more about how mediated agreements work and when they become legally enforceable, the Mediate UK guide to mediated agreements covers this in detail.

Frequently Asked Questions