FAQ – Family Mediation

Family mediation usually follows these steps:

Individual MIAMs – Each of you first attends a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) on your own. The mediator explains how mediation works, checks it’s suitable and safe, and talks through other options.

Inviting the other person – If mediation is suitable, we invite the other person to attend their own MIAM.

Joint mediation sessions – If mediation is still suitable and you both agree, you meet together (online or in person, or by shuttle) for a series of 60–90 minute sessions focused on child arrangements, finances or both.

Reaching proposals – The mediator helps you explore options and reality-test them until you reach proposals you’re both prepared to work with.

Written documents – We can then prepare documents such as a Parenting Plan, Open Financial Statement and Memorandum of Understanding, which can later be turned into a legally binding order through solicitors if you wish.

You can book your MIAM online at any time:
Book a MIAM | Book an urgent online MIAM

In mediation you’ll usually:

• Talk about what’s most important to you and any children
• Share information about finances, housing and day-to-day care of the children
• Explore different options, with the mediator keeping things fair, respectful and on track
• Work towards clear, practical proposals you can both live with

You’re not expected to “sort everything” in one go. Most people attend 2–4 joint sessions on parenting or finances, depending on complexity and how much is already agreed.

Some key benefits:

• Faster – Most cases are resolved in 2–6 months, compared with 1–3 years through the courts
• Cheaper – Typically a fraction of the cost of court proceedings and contested solicitor correspondence
• More control – You and your ex decide the outcome, not a judge who doesn’t know your family
• Child-focused – The process keeps any children’s needs and routines at the centre of discussions
• Confidential and flexible – You can explore options freely and tailor solutions to your family

Mediation is usually recommended when:

• You’re separating or divorcing and want to agree who lives where, time with the children, holidays and special occasions
• You need to agree how to divide property, savings, debts and pensions
• You want a Parenting Plan or financial agreement recorded without going straight to court (these can be made legally binding)
• Communication has become difficult and you’d benefit from a neutral professional keeping discussions calm and structured

It’s often helpful to come to mediation as early as possible, before positions become too fixed or court proceedings are started.

In a typical joint session:

• The mediator runs the session on parenting or finances, based on what you both want to cover
• If you are discussing both, you usually start with parenting
• Each of you has uninterrupted time to explain your priorities and concerns
• The mediator helps you look at options around child arrangements, housing, money, pensions and future communication
• They can share legal information and experience on what the courts accept. They cannot give legal advice
• You’ll agree clear next steps before the end of the meeting

If you’d like more detail on our process or to get started:
Book a MIAM | Book a free 15-minute consultation

A MIAM is your first individual meeting with a family mediator. It usually lasts up to an hour and:

• Explains what mediation and other out-of-court options involve
• Lets you talk privately about your situation and what you’d like to achieve
• Allows the mediator to assess whether mediation is safe and suitable, including any safeguarding issues
• Is often required before you can apply to the family court, unless you qualify for an exemption. See Ministry of Justice for more details

You can book online here:
Standard MIAM | Urgent MIAM (for court forms / urgent issues)

Key differences include:

• Time – Mediation usually takes 2–6 months; court proceedings often take 1–3 years for a final order
• Cost – Mediation is generally much cheaper than running a court case with solicitors and barristers
• Control – In mediation you make your own proposals. In court, a judge makes decisions for you
• Tone – Mediation tends to be more constructive and future-focused; court is adversarial by design
• Privacy – Mediation is confidential; court cases are increasingly reported and court documents may be seen by other professionals

Many clients use mediation first and only involve the court if they cannot reach agreement or an urgent order is required.

Yes, family mediation is confidential with some important legal exceptions. In general:

• What you discuss in mediation cannot be shared with the court or anyone else without both of your consent
• Financial disclosure in mediation is usually “open” (it can be used later), but proposals are “without prejudice” – they’re off the record while you explore options

A mediator must break confidentiality if, for example:

• They believe someone (adult or child) is at serious risk of harm
• There are concerns about money laundering or serious criminal activity
• They are required to do so by law or professional rules

Your mediator will explain this clearly at your MIAM and in your Agreement to Mediate.

Mediation can help with almost all issues arising from separation, including:

• Child arrangements – where children live, time with each parent, holidays, birthdays, schooling, travel
• Communication and parenting – how you’ll share information, handovers, new partners, rules in each home
• Finances and property – what happens to the family home, savings, debts, maintenance and pensions
• Separation and divorce planning – timings, practical arrangements and how to make agreements legally binding

For divorce-related issues in England and Wales:

Book a MIAM with one of our London or online mediators: book here.

At your MIAM, talk through your divorce timeline, any urgent issues (such as interim arrangements or bills), and whether you also need help with children, finances or both.

If mediation is suitable and you choose to proceed, we’ll invite your ex-partner to their MIAM.

Once both MIAMs are complete, we can start joint mediation sessions and, if required, link you with our fixed-fee legal packages to make any financial agreement legally binding via a Consent Order.

You don’t need to “apply” in a formal sense – you simply:

• Book a MIAM online or by phone
• Complete a short online form so we have your basic details
• Attend your MIAM and decide, with the mediator, whether mediation feels right for you

We then take care of inviting the other person and arranging all further meetings and documents.

Book a MIAM | Book a free 15-minute consultation first

London Mediation Service offers:

• Online mediation – available nationwide and internationally for cases connected to England & Wales
• In-person mediation – at our London offices (Central London, plus North London and South London locations) as well as at other Mediate UK branches across England and Wales

You can reach London Mediation Service (part of Mediate UK) on:

Phone: 0330 999 0959
Email: admin@mediateuk.co.uk
Online booking: Book a MIAM or book a free 15-minute call

London Mediation Service is the dedicated London arm of Mediate UK, the UK’s largest private family mediation provider. All our mediators are trained, insured and registered with the Family Mediation Council (FMC), and many are also members of professional bodies such as Resolution and the Family Mediators Association (FMA).

No. You do not need a solicitor in place before you start mediation. Many people choose to:

• Use mediation first to explore options and reach proposals
• Then take those proposals to a solicitor for independent legal advice before making anything legally binding

We can signpost you to fixed-fee solicitors and legal advice packages if needed, but the choice of solicitor is always yours.

You can:

• Book online 24/7 at Book a MIAM now – appointments are usually available within 48 hours
• Book an urgent MIAM (for court forms or urgent matters) at Online MIAM
• Or call 0330 999 0959 and our Client Management Unit can book you in by phone

For your MIAM (first individual meeting), you only need:

• A pen and paper can be handy to take notes as you cannot record the MIAM and you will be given a lot of information
• Basic details of your situation and any court dates or orders
• Any key documents you already have to hand (for example a non-molestation order)

Your mediator will explain exactly what’s needed and give you a checklist.

You always attend a MIAM on your own, even if the other person has told you they won’t go to mediation. We will:

• Invite them to a MIAM and explain the benefits of mediation
• If they decline, ignore invitations or mediation isn’t suitable, an accredited mediator can sign the relevant court form (for example on C100, Form A or FM1) so you can apply to the court if you choose

You cannot force someone into mediation, but attending a MIAM yourself shows the court you’ve tried to resolve things out of court. Non-attendance is becoming more of a significant factor when judges are apportioning legal costs at court.

You can check if you’re likely to need a MIAM before court using our tool:
Do I need a MIAM? – Calculator

Yes. Child arrangements are one of the main reasons parents use mediation. We regularly help with:

• Weekly and holiday schedules
• School holidays, Christmas and birthdays
• Communication and decision-making about schooling, health and activities
• Introducing new partners and blended families
• Grandparents can mediate about seeing their grandchildren too

Agreed arrangements can be recorded in a Parenting Plan, and, if you wish, later turned into a Child Arrangements Order through our fixed-fee legal partners.

The government have a £500 voucher towards joint mediation on parenting.

Yes. Financial and property matters are a core part of what we do. Mediation can help you agree:

• What happens to the family home and any other properties
• How to share savings, investments, debts and pensions
• Ongoing child and spousal maintenance, if appropriate

We prepare an Open Financial Statement and Memorandum of Understanding, which your solicitors can then convert into a Consent Order to make the agreement legally binding.

Good preparation can save time and money. Before your first session:

• Think about your top 3 priorities – for you and for any children
• Make a simple list of income, outgoings and debts
• Gather any key documents already to hand (court papers, existing agreements etc.)
• Consider where you can be flexible, and what might be a “must-have” rather than a “nice to have”

Most importantly, come ready to listen as well as speak, mediation works best when both people are willing to explore options, even if you strongly disagree at the start.

Disclosure can be done online through our secure client portal. You can select to do it via a Form E if you prefer. Typically for a divorce, you would need information on your:

• Income – last 3 months’ payslips, latest P60, accounts if self-employed
• Property – recent mortgage statements, property valuations
• Bank accounts – 3–6 months’ statements for all accounts in your name
• Debts – loan, credit card and HP statements
• Pensions – recent value (called a CEV) for all schemes
• Other assets – investments, shares, crypto, business interests

You don’t need everything for the MIAM, but you will need complete and honest disclosure for financial proposals to be meaningful.

It can help to:

• Think about your children’s routines, personalities and needs
• Consider what has worked well in the past and what hasn’t
• Sketch some possible weekly and holiday patterns, bearing in mind school, work and travel times
• Note any particular concerns – for example, health issues, schooling or communication problems
• Try to view arrangements from your child’s perspective: “If I were them, what would feel fair and stable?”

Mediation meetings are usually just you, the other person and the mediator, as this keeps things balanced and focused. In some circumstances, and with everyone’s agreement, a support person or professional (for example, a new partner, interpreter or financial adviser) may attend part of a meeting.

If you’re anxious about attending alone, let us know at your MIAM. We can discuss shuttle mediation (separate rooms / online breakout rooms) or additional support options.

The other person cannot speak on your behalf and they cannot be a solicitor.

At your MIAM you can expect:

• A friendly, one-to-one discussion lasting about 45–60 minutes
• An explanation of mediation, the court’s expectations and other non court dispute resolution (NCDR) options (such as solicitor negotiation, arbitration or court)
• Questions about your situation, including any safety or safeguarding concerns
• Time to ask anything you need about costs, timescales and what happens next

There is no pressure to start mediation – the MIAM is about understanding your options and deciding what feels right for you.

There is a presumption that the other party will be invited to mediation. This is unless mediation is not suitable or you have particular reasons not to invite them.

Our standard fees (per person, plus VAT) are:

• Online MIAM: £115 per hour + VAT
• Face-to-face MIAM (London): £180 per hour + VAT
• Online joint mediation: £120 per person per hour + VAT
• Face-to-face joint mediation (London): £180 per person per hour + VAT

We also offer fixed-fee legal and mediation packages, including divorce and Consent Orders.

Mediation is charged per person, so each of you is responsible for your own fees. Sometimes one person chooses to pay more (or all) of the costs as part of an overall financial settlement – that’s entirely up to you both.

If you are discussing child arrangements, you will usually qualify for the £500 government voucher scheme (unless you have already used it before). This is not means-tested.

Legal aid is available for family mediation if you are on certain benefits or low-income. London Mediation Service will be offering legal aid later in 2026.

There are two main ways mediation costs may be reduced or covered:

• Government £500 Mediation Voucher Scheme – where eligible, this can provide up to £500 towards the cost of child-focused mediation sessions (not the MIAM)
• Legal aid – if you qualify for legal aid and choose a legal-aid mediation provider, your MIAM and mediation sessions may be fully funded

London Mediation Service / Mediate UK does not currently offer legal aid, but we are registered for the £500 Voucher Scheme. Your mediator will check eligibility with you at your MIAM.

We don’t currently hold a legal aid contract, so we cannot apply for legal aid on your behalf. However:

Legal aid for mediation is available through certain FMC-registered mediation services for people on low incomes or certain benefits. GOV.UK

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme is a government initiative that:

• Provides a one-off contribution of up to £500 per case towards the cost of mediation sessions
• Applies where there is a dispute about children, or finances linked to a children dispute
• Can be used in addition to legal aid, but cannot be used to pay for your MIAM

At your MIAM, your mediator will:

• Check whether your case is eligible
• Confirm whether vouchers are still available (they are limited nationwide)
• Apply for the voucher on your behalf if you both agree to proceed

The £500 is paid directly to the mediation service; you don’t receive a physical voucher.

All prices quoted are plus VAT, unless we specifically say otherwise.

Your MIAM fee covers:

• A 45 to 60 minute individual meeting with an FMC-registered mediator
• A confidential assessment of whether mediation is suitable and safe
• Information about other options (solicitors, court, arbitration, collaborative law etc.)
• If needed, completion and signing of the MIAM certificate section of court forms (for example C100, Form A or FM1) so you can apply to court if mediation isn’t appropriate or doesn’t proceed

Every case is different, but as a guide:

• Most families resolve matters in 2 to 4 joint sessions
• Overall, mediation tends to take 2 to 6 months from MIAM to final documents, depending on complexity and how quickly you can gather information
• This is significantly quicker than court, which can often take 1 to 3 years to reach a final order

Most people need between two and four 60–90 minute sessions:

• Parenting-only cases may be resolved in 1–3 sessions
• Financial-only cases typically need 2–4 sessions
• All-issues cases (children and finances) may need more, especially where assets are complex

Your mediator can give you a better estimate after your MIAM.

A MIAM usually lasts up to 60 minutes. If the meeting is shorter than 45 minutes we need to record why as there is a significant amount of information we need to share with you.

We can usually offer:

• MIAM appointments within 48 hours (sometimes sooner for urgent MIAMs)
• Joint mediation sessions soon after both MIAMs are complete, subject to your and the mediator’s availability

If you’re working to a court deadline, please tell us when you book your MIAM.

Yes. In most cases:

• Mediation: typically 2–6 months
• Court: often 1–3 years from application to final order, sometimes longer in busy courts

Using mediation can save a significant amount of time, stress and legal cost compared with waiting for multiple court hearings.

Mediation is not suitable in every case. It may be inappropriate where:

• There is serious domestic abuse, including coercive control or intimidation and it isn’t possible to make the process safe, even with shuttle or online options
• There are ongoing child protection investigations and professionals advise mediation is not suitable
• One or both people are unable to participate safely or freely, for example due to severe mental health difficulties, active addiction or extreme power imbalance
• There are serious safeguarding risks to you or any child that cannot be managed within mediation

Your mediator will discuss these issues confidentially at your MIAM and will not proceed if they believe mediation would be unsafe or unfair.

Mediation is voluntary, but for most applications about children or finances you are expected to at least consider mediation by attending a MIAM unless you qualify for an exemption. See Ministry of Justice

If you refuse to attend:

• The other person may still attend a MIAM on their own
• The court may ask why mediation or a MIAM was not attempted
• In some cases, the court can adjourn proceedings and direct you both to attend a MIAM if no valid exemption applies

You can check if you are likely to need a MIAM before applying to court using our tool:
Do I need a MIAM? – Calculator Mediate UK

Safety must always come first. Where there has been domestic abuse or other safeguarding concerns, the mediator will:

• Discuss this with you confidentially at your MIAM
• Consider whether mediation can be made safe (for example, shuttle mediation, online meetings or staggered arrival/departure)
• Decide whether mediation is suitable, not suitable, or only suitable with special arrangements

In some situations, especially where there is recent or serious abuse backed by evidence, you may be exempt from attending a MIAM and can apply directly to court. If you feel at risk now, please seek urgent support (e.g. police, domestic abuse helplines) before thinking about mediation.

The family court rules set out a number of situations where you may not need to attend a MIAM before applying to court. Examples include:

• Domestic abuse evidence – such as police involvement, protective injunctions or findings of fact
• Child protection concerns – where a local authority is involved due to risk of harm
• Urgency – where there is a risk of unlawful removal of a child, risk to life or liberty, or urgent need to protect assets
• Previous recent MIAM – usually within the last 4 months for the same issue
• Practical barriers – for example, you don’t have any contact details for the other person, or either party is outside England and Wales and can’t easily attend remotely
• Bankruptcy – in some financial cases

Our MIAM calculator summarises the main exemption categories in plain English:
Do I need a MIAM? – 15 Exemptions Explained Mediate UK

We can explain this in more detail during a free 15-minute call, but we cannot give legal advice on whether a judge will ultimately accept an exemption or the evidence of domestic abuse.

No. London Mediation Service are family mediators, not solicitors. We provide information, help you explore options and record your proposals, but we do not give legal advice. Chris Yaffes, our head mediator at London Mediation Service is a non-practising solicitor.

Mediate UK works with a group of independent solicitors, barristers and McKenzie Friends to offer fixed-fee legal packages if you want legal advice, or to make an agreement legally binding or just need help completing your court forms.

The mediation process itself is not legally binding. The main mediation documents are:

• Parenting Plan – a flexible record of child arrangements
• Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) – a “without prejudice” summary of financial proposals
• Open Financial Statement (OFS) – an open record of your financial information

The first two documents can then be turned into a legally binding order, usually:

• A Consent Order (for finances) as part of a divorce
• A Child Arrangements Order for children

This is done through solicitors and the family court, often using our fixed-fee packages.

For most applications about children (C100) or finances on divorce (Form A), you must attend a MIAM or claim a valid exemption before issuing your court application. The other person is expected, but not required, to attend their own MIAM.

There are exceptions (for example domestic abuse, urgency or child protection involvement). Our MIAM calculator gives a clear overview:
Do I need a MIAM?

Mediation reduces the amount of solicitor input you may need, but it doesn’t replace independent legal advice. We usually recommend:

• Getting legal advice before you make any financial agreement legally binding
• Using a solicitor to draft and submit a Consent Order or Child Arrangements Order, if that’s what you want
• Taking advice if there are complex assets or international elements

We can refer you to fixed-fee legal packages, or you can choose your own solicitor.

A Consent Order is a court order that turns your agreed financial settlement into a legally binding arrangement. Key points:

• It usually sets out how property, savings, pensions and other assets will be dealt with on divorce
• It is drafted by a solicitor, signed by both of you and approved by a judge on paper, without a hearing in most cases
• It can include “clean break” clauses to prevent future financial claims

You don’t have to get a Consent Order, but without one there can be ongoing financial claims even many years after the divorce. A judge needs to agree with your order in order to make it legally binding.

An MOU is a summary of the proposals you reach in financial mediation. It:

• Sets out the background, the assets and debts, and the proposals you’ve both reached
• Is prepared by the mediator after you’ve reached “in principle” agreement
• Is not legally binding, but is used by your solicitors to draft a Consent Order or Separation Agreement

The mediation documents themselves (Parenting Plan, MOU) are not usually enforceable. They become enforceable when:

• They are turned into a Consent Order (finances) or Child Arrangements Order by the court; or
• In some cases, when they are incorporated into a formal contract such as a Separation Agreement

We can work alongside solicitors to help you make enforceable orders without unnecessary court hearings.

Not necessarily. Many couples:

• Reach proposals in mediation
• Use our fixed-fee legal packages to turn those proposals into court orders, usually on paper and without a hearing

You may need a short, administrative court process (for example to approve a Consent Order or finalise a no-fault divorce), but you typically avoid contested hearings if mediation is successful.

For a child arrangements order you will need to attend court, even when you agree. A judge will need to agree that a legally binding order is in the best interests of a child.

Yes. We offer fully online mediation via secure video meetings, including MIAMs and joint sessions. This is ideal where:

• You live in different areas or overseas
• Work patterns or childcare make travel difficult
• You feel more comfortable joining from home

90% of our clients mediate online.

London Mediation Service holds in-person appointments at our Central, North and South London locations, as well as at other Mediate UK branches across England and Wales.

Yes. You can choose:

• In-person mediation at our London offices;
• Online mediation from anywhere; or
• A mix of the two, depending on your needs and availability

Yes. Shuttle mediation is where you and the other person sit in separate physical rooms or online breakout rooms and the mediator moves between you. It can help when:

• There is a high level of conflict or anxiety
• You feel unable to sit in the same room or Zoom call
• There are safeguarding or power-imbalance concerns

There is a small additional fee for a second room in shuttle cases held in-person.

London Mediation Service is the London-focused arm of Mediate UK, the UK’s largest private family mediation provider. We specialise solely in family mediation, helping separating couples and parents agree arrangements for children, property and finances without unnecessary court hearings.

Yes. All our mediators are:

• Registered with the Family Mediation Council (FMC)
• Trained to at least foundation level, with most holding full FMCA accreditation
• Required to follow the FMC Code of Practice, complete regular CPD and work with a Professional Practice Consultant (PPC)
• Have their own liability insurance, alongside ones held by Mediate UK

Many are also members of Resolution or the College of Mediators or Family Mediators Association.

London Mediation Service is part of Mediate UK, sharing the same systems, standards, mediators and award-winning client care, but with a specific focus on London-based and London-linked clients.

Mediate UK has been specialising in family mediation for over 15 years, with 25+ branches across England and Wales. Many of our mediators were highly experienced solicitors, law practitioners, or registered counsellors, who now focus on family mediation and related out-of-court work.

Our mediators are registered with:

• The Family Mediation Council (FMC)
• And, in many cases, Resolution and/or the Family Mediators Association

We follow the FMC Code of Practice and relevant practice directions at all times.